I can relate a lot to this. Only for the last 4 years I have been swinging from leaving Christianity and even Christ for a while then swinging hard back to fundamentalism and church again. One extreme to the other. One extreme for several months then back the other way to the other extreme. I get happy in the polarity then all of sudden I am swinging back the other way again. It actually makes me so frustrated. I don't know what is going on? A friend has suggested I am like a pendulum it will be one end to the other, back and forth till I come to settle somewhere in the middle. I am sick of this! This sucks! I want off this wild ride, but I am buckled in too tight and it has taken control. Don't know if I am coming or going. But I have a funny feeling God or the universe or whatever has some kind of plan. At least I hope so.